Excel at active listening

Active listening is an essential piece of the puzzle in communication, and it is the tool that properly used can undoubtedly and immensely improve your life.

During our formative years in schools, we spend quite a lot of time learning to speak, write and read, but we don't spend any time learning how to listen correctly.

To listen actively means more than just hearing a message passively. It requires full attention to what the speaker is saying both verbally and non-verbally and also a keen awareness of what you are communicating while listening. You must convey to the speaker that you are genuinely listening.

In episode two of our Lessons Learned series, I shared how essential active listening is and its impact on my life. Let me now share some tips on how you can become an excellent active listener.

Pay attention. Don't just look like you are paying attention. Give the person speaking your entire engagement, and be aware that non-verbal communication "speaks" as loudly. Look at the speaker directly, put aside any thoughts that might be distracting, don't prepare your answer mentally until you listened to everything the speaker had to say and remember to listen to the body language of the speaker as well.

Show your engagement. An open posture, a nod, a smile if appropriate, and encouraging verbal comments such as "yes" will all show the speaker that you are listening.

Reflect. We are prone to filter everything through our assumptions, beliefs and judgements. To make sure we are genuinely practising active listening and correctly understand what the speaker is saying, we need to make sure we do not distort the message conveyed to us. Ask clarifying questions, such as "What do you mean when you say... ." or "Is this what you mean?" and reflect by paraphrasing. "What I'm hearing is," and "Sounds like you are saying".

Have patience. Allow the speaker to finish each point without interrupting or asking questions as it will not only allow you to understand the whole picture but will also not frustrate the speaker.

Show empathy. Please make sure you know that speakers base their message on their beliefs, knowledge, and feelings when someone speaks to you. Try as best as you can to see things from the speaker's perspective and don't judge.

Show respect. You might disagree with what the speaker is saying, and you might even have a completely different way of seeing things, but consideration needs to be shown and given at any moment.

Respond appropriately. Before you answer, think about how would you like to be treated and shape your answer in a candid, open and honest way.

Please share your thoughts, your story and other tips that you know. If you found the article helpful, share it with anyone that might benefit from reading it.

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